The Science-Backed Reason to Call a Friend: Connection is Healing

Some days, we carry more than we realise. The tension in our shoulders, the fatigue that sleep can’t fix, and the undercurrent of anxiety we’ve normalised. But connection has always been a balm. And now, science proves it.

Studies show that women who regularly connect with female friends have lower cortisol levels, the stress hormone responsible for anxiety, overwhelm, and emotional exhaustion. It’s not just about feeling better, it’s about regulating your nervous system.

This calming effect is part of what’s known as the “tend-and-befriend” response, a biological process that helps us feel safe and soothed through social connection.

This research was pioneered by Dr. Shelley E. Taylor and her team at UCLA. You can read more about their study here:

👉 UCLA Tend and Befriend Study – Shelley E. Taylor, Psychological Review (2000)

I have personally felt this power time and again. A long conversation. A deep belly laugh. A knowing look. A shared silence. These aren’t just feel-good moments; they are healing, they remind us we’re not alone, they help us feel human again.

So if you’re feeling overwhelmed, uncertain, or just out of sorts, call a friend, not because you have to say something profound, but because connection is the medicine you didn’t know you needed. Friendship isn’t a luxury. It’s part of our wellbeing.

To the incredible women in my life: thank you. Hannah x

 July 2025

Sources:

UCLA Stress & Affiliation Studies

Journal of Psychosomatic Research

American Psychological Association (APA) Publications

Footnote: Cortisol is the body’s primary stress hormone. While it plays a vital role in regulating metabolism, blood pressure, and the sleep-wake cycle, prolonged elevation of cortisol due to chronic stress can contribute to anxiety, fatigue, immune suppression, and other health concerns.